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plantyourjimmyinmybonham:

sexual orientation: when a vinyl record crackles

methbusters:

who wants to hire me as their maid i’m not gonna clean im just gonna wear a cute maid outfit dust like 6 things and bend down a lot

iamthedukeofurl:

wholockian-at-hogwarts:

WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????

We never switched over to metric timekeeping. The c stands for “Caw”, referring to how many times a majestic eagle has flown overhead and cawed that day. Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the 7th or 8th caw. 

tomkirk:

my life is just a collection of poorly made decisions with alternative music playing in the background


If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.

— Paulo Coehlo (via seabelle)

goldenfleeces:

14 was 2000 years ago

poopflow:

nah mom I went to bed 4 hours ago I just woke up to go to the bathroom