sexual orientation: when a vinyl record crackles
who wants to hire me as their maid i’m not gonna clean im just gonna wear a cute maid outfit dust like 6 things and bend down a lot
WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????
We never switched over to metric timekeeping. The c stands for “Caw”, referring to how many times a majestic eagle has flown overhead and cawed that day. Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the 7th or 8th caw.
my life is just a collection of poorly made decisions with alternative music playing in the background
— Paulo Coehlo (via seabelle)
14 was 2000 years ago
nah mom I went to bed 4 hours ago I just woke up to go to the bathroom